“…What did you say? …”

“Stop Derick!!!” “Come back here and do your homework” those were phrases I used every day when I just started out as the lesson teacher of the admirable non-identical twins, “Derick and Dexter”. Did I say “lesson Teacher”? Pardon me, more like a “glorified baby sitter”. Believe me the experience at the beginning was “frustration personified”.  Those cute little twins where in KG! KG of all class. What do I have to teach KG pupils other than to learn how to read and write? A B C you know…

I don’t have a degree in child psychology or a degree in educational studies. I studied Microbiology with an earlier diploma in Science laboratory Technology. “Haba! Wetin you come dey do babysitting?” So I have asked myself times without number. Seriously I did ask myself “Kayode, Where the heck did you go wrong?”

Back to my story.

My contact introduced me as the new lesson teacher and I will hence forth be coming around the house to assist the children in their studies. After my contact has hyped me and told them I could teach a fish to talk, the boys were handed over to me to do the magic. Na so e easy abi?

“Good afternoon” I said to the boys shortly after they came to meet me. Believe me, I couldn’t phantom the intonation of the boys when they replied to my greetings.

I had to say “hello” again to be sure they were replying to my greetings and not to the fact that something was biting them. Long story short, I couldn’t hear what they were saying. Their Queen’s English was impeccable, their pronunciation was just on point. The boys have no Nigerian accent at all, na for obodo oyinbo them born dem! See me, see wahala today! Me wey never reach Ghana before not to talk of amorika, how do I start forming oyibo accent with these boys? Am not exaggerating, I had to listen with rapt and utmost attention and most times I had to ask them “what did you say?” like twice before I could understand what they were saying. “Dis one na serious Gogbe. For where I wan come start to dey teach dis pikins boys? Abi na which kain wahala be dis. See d kain trouble dis man don put me?”

“One sometimes finds what one is not looking for”

-Sir Alexander Fleming

Well lucky for me on the first day, how they managed not to be unruly was just beyond everyone’s understanding. How I managed to keep them on their sit for two hours on that particular day, I cannot explain, but how I did it subsequently even amazed me more and I laughed and smiled each time those memories come by. Journeying from the local Mafoluku area to teach kids of the affluent in Omole phase 1, Victoria Island, Lekki Phase 1, Bourdillion, Awolowo way ikoyi, Park view Estate almost every day is an experience worth documenting. Please, laugh and learn….

Welcome to the diary of a Lesson teacher…